My Fellow Grievers,

Easter is just around the corner, and I know it can be a tough time if you're facing it without your beloved spouse by your side.

Easter was the first holiday I experienced after the loss of my wife to cancer.
I was with my family, doing our normal family holiday get together ….. yet the emptiness was overwhelming.

My four other siblings were with their spouses and all the kids were young and so excited. There was happiness in the air. I could see it but all I felt was the pain of my loss.

It was a sunny spring weekend and my young nephew, around 8 or 9 at the time, roped me into a game of street hockey with his friends. I was reluctant at first but I just couldn't refuse his eager smile.

We were running around and the kids were having crazy fun. I remember I laughed.

I laughed and stopped in my tracks.

It was the first time I had even smiled since my wife’s death.

I suddenly felt like such a cad.

How could I be happy when my wife was no longer with me?

And then more toxic thoughts of guilt and confusion filled my head.

Thoughts that are completely understandable when you consider I had only lost my wife just 6 weeks ago. But I didn't know that I knew nothing about grief, nothing but the pain, that is.

It wasn't until much later that I came to understand that experiencing moments of joy amidst grief is not only normal but essential to the healing process.

My point here is grieving people need support, whether from a coach like myself, a trusted counselor or a peer grief community, to navigate the complexities of grief, to learn that what they're feeling is valid, and to find hope and healing in the midst of pain.

If you're struggling this Easter, know that you're not alone, and help is available to guide you through this difficult journey.

Here are a few tips to help guide you through this Easter weekend:

Plan Ahead
Take a moment to think about how you can honor your spouse's memory through adapting old traditions or starting new ones. Consider those invitations, find comfort in self-care activities and what about trying out a fun Easter themed activity to uplift your spirits. Attending church for an uplifting message of hope can also offer peace and strength.

Get Help Before and After
We talked about that above.

Celebrate Life
This Easter, commemorate your loved one by planning an activity in their remembrance. It can be as simple as sharing fun memories, looking at old photographs, or planting a memory garden with contributions from friends and family.

Remember while our loved ones may not be physically with us, their love and influence continue to inspire and guide us.

Wishing you peace and comfort this Easter season.


To Your Peace,

Alan

Alan Farmer
Rise and Shine Grief Support

PS: Join our private Facebook grief community “Rise and Shine Grief Group for Widows and Widowers” Click here to join! 

PPS: For a copy of “Rise and Shine: A Widowers Guide to Grief” and access to the Teddy Bear Toolbox Click here!​